The battle of the cough

I promised more dirt on the new job, and who am I to disappoint?

One of my coworkers has a chronic dry cough. Like clockwork he coughs twice, then is silent for 5, 15 minutes or more. Well, behind me another coworker gets positively furious whenever he coughs.

“Oh my god!” she swears, sometimes quite loudly.

Then she retaliates with a salvo of her own. What does she do? She coughs back.

Odd strategy. I’m pretty sure the original cougher doesn’t even realize it, and if he did he certainly doesn’t realize she’s coughing to get back at him, and even if he did, I’m positive he wouldn’t care.

But that’s not it, oh no. She then cranks her radio. Nothing like soft rock at high volumes to get back at someone. Oh the inhumanity! But wait, the cougher’s in another room, he probably can’t even hear it. That means I’m assailed by the horror that is soft rock and I’m probably the only person that’s horribly annoyed by it.

Folks, listen, despite what you may think, programming is a very cerebral profession. The work landscape must be one that’s favorable to the programmer if he or she is to be effective. Now, my iPod does go quite loud, however, I’d like to still have my hearing past the age of 40. And that only takes care of the sonic workspace to begin with.

Oh, what I’d give to be able to program in a cave. Fairly dark, nice and warm, with maybe a soft breeze. I’d light some candles so the cave didn’t smell so musty. I’d play some bjork (loudly). Oh, and there’d be beer. And girls in bikinis to bring me beer.

Hrm, my description of the ideal work environment seems to have evolved into some sort of wet dream. Ah well, so be it.